You dont need new perfume….you need the Holy Ghost: What to do when your on E

Have you ever felt far from God? Lonely and drained not knowing any other way to fix the feeling than to chase a familiar impulse? That feeling of emptiness is God calling you back!

Vanity....it is all vanity.

Perfume bottles, matching sets, makeup hauls- all things that makes the girlies smile! But on a day where your Maker feels distant it is all vanity! (Ecclesiastes 1:2)

The Road to Emptiness

Running on E is something I am far too aquatinted with unfortunately. I am someone who is very busy and involved in a lot of things so naturally it can get overwhelming to a place where my priorities aren’t in order and I end up empty in my soul. I recall this past Valentine's Day as a prime example.

Nonetheless, that morning I felt like a car running low on gas... yet I never recharged.

I was not sad I actually deleted my instagram that day because I realized it was robbing me of focus. When I deleted the app, it really had nothing to do with all the relationship posts that were going to bless my timeline that day and everything to do with my loss of focus. I have passed the stage of jealousy. I am now fully trusting God to protect, bless and lead my husband to me! He will come by faith and I truly can't wait to meet him and love him.

Nonetheless, that morning I felt like a car running low on gas. The night before I attended a company event and it drained a lot of my energy- yet I never recharged. I came home and went straight to sleep without doing my prayer routine. Woke up late the next morning and skipped the prayer again, no this is just pure negligence at this point but hang in there with me! By the time I made it to work- I just didn't feel like it anymore. I pushed through until finally I leaned over on my desk and just admitted to myself - I felt empty.

Filling the Void

That feeling of emptiness is God calling you back!

I had no motivation, nothing in me to make me feel productive. The work I had to do, I eventually stopped doing because I just felt so blahhh. I went home with the intention of spending time with God because I just knew that was the reason why I was feeling that way. But before I can do that, I was tempted!

I was tempted to go splurge on a self care shopping spree. After all it was Valentines’ Day and I just got paid! Now, there was no space in my budget for such a spree but I was willing to make space. I began to reason with myself, I am in need of new clothes, maybe if I started wearing makeup everyday I would feel better? Why not treat myself to that Valentino perfume I’ve been waiting to buy! Its Valentine’s Day and I have no Valentine, the least I can do is treat myself to a shopping spree and they might have sales!

The Return

Dont just expect the Holy Ghost to manifest all at once as if you weren't MIA for the past few days. Give Him time.

The thought pocked at me several times cause yall know I love a good perfume! It eventually stopped when the Holy Ghost stepped in and placed the desire for time with Him back in my heart. I went home and felt Him pulling on my heart. As I was talking to my sisters, they began to talk about this movie they were all going to watch since we were all free on that Friday night- yet I felt Him pull me. Oftentimes God flashes images as thoughts into my head and that is how He speaks. I saw the image of me in my room in prayer. So I left them and went to my room.

In my room I started off with music- Victoria Orenze of course. I began to play the music and oftentimes when you let yourself go on E like that, you just have to soak in his presence. Dont just expect the Holy Ghost to manifest all at once as if you weren't MIA for the past few days. Give Him time. I went from sitting and listening, to sitting and flagging. Then I stood to my feet and began to pray and flag. I began to pray in tongues. And I tell you, I literally felt myself stand up straighter. By the time I was done blowing in diverse tongues I got my stature back and I felt fuller than I was before! I was no longer empty, the Holy Spirit had fortified me and filled me up!

Get Inspired

I say all of this to say this- how easy would it have been for me to take the other route of a self care day? Oftentimes the enemy busys us with activities to drain us, we end up feeling drained and then think the solution is a self care day! What a waste of money that would have been. For many of us, thats how the enemy attacks our finances- emotional spending. Instead of going to the throne, we think we can spend our stress and emptiness away and label it as treating ourself. Girl you not treating yourself- you are sick and empty and in need of Jesus!

Dont get me wrong- there is nothing wrong with treating yourself, nothing wrong with taking a self care day. But its time for the people of God to know when its time to fight the spirt of heaviness off by prayer and when its time to go buy perfume. When its time to spend intimate time with the Lord versus when its time to go on a spa date.

Sometimes what you need is to recharge the in the spirit! Im telling you, that is the only way to stay afloat. You need to stay charged like a wire! No amount of makeup, perfume or shopping bags can give you that! There is a spirit that lives within us that needs consistent contact, consistent care and attention. I pray this causes you to think again the next time you want to medicate your feelings of emptiness and dissatisfaction. Ask the Lord for wisdom and don’t let the enemy play you for a fool and deplete your bank account for nothing!

Simply, Bev